Chances are if you’re reading this article you are a gun enthusiast, and are probably big into unicorns, or at least the first one.  There are thousands of great people that really love their firearms, but like any big group of folks there are some odd jobs that engage in some strange practices.  Keep reading to see if you are one of these 5 worst gun guys.

First off, let’s all agree not to take ourselves too seriously here.  I’m sure we all do these types of things from time to time.  So, let’s not let the butt hurt get to strong, agreed?

Before you get too deep into the article, you might want to take a gander at The 5 Worst Types of Gun Guys (Part 1).  

Back Up Gun Guy

The back up gun guy has become quite popular in recent years.  This is a classic example of some retro nonsense that comes back into style.  This guy generally doesn’t care that a back up gun was carried by police officers who were issued 5 shot revolver’s which are not quick to reload.

What made sense in the 70’s, when mustaches were mandatory, has been perverted by their strange ways and insecurity into carrying two, three, or even more guns.   Still wondering about the back up gun, then check out this video to see what I’m talking about. Skip to 3:50.

This is just weird and statistically not necessary.  The odds of you using even one gun are so low that there are no reliable statistics for law abiding citizens.  If you are ever questioning whether you should take someone’s advice, just ask, “are they using a zombie apocalypse to justify their viewpoint?”  If they are, just run.  This brings us to our next worst gun guy.

Zombie Prepper Guy 

I think this one might be dying off slowly, but surely.  This guy will definitely be driving a lifted JK Jeep Wrangler with numerous “zombie response unit” and bio hazard stickers on there.  There is a good chance that most of the lower’s on his AR’s also have said zombie stickers on there.

I know, I know World War Z  was a pretty good book, and The Walking Dead is your jam, but lets leave TV scenarios on TV.  Check this video out for your standard zombie killing gun.

Now Iraq Veteran 8888 has a great Youtube channel and this video is made to poke a little fun at the Mall Ninja’s that are prepping for the imminent zombie outbreak.  So let’s all agree that we can let this one die.

If you like this kind of article, and want more sent straight to you, drop your email in on the right.  If you don’t I’ll assume you’re a My Little Pony collector.  

Questionable Navy SEAL 

You’ll be able to spot the Questionable SEAL by his bandanna and him telling you that he was a SEAL within the first two minutes of meeting him.  Never mind that you weren’t asking about anything military related.

He is a close cousin to the Almost Operator (previous article), with one key distinction.  The Almost Operator was in the military, and exaggerates his service, where as the Questionable SEAL probably served in the boy scouts. This guy seems legit.

Note the sunglasses indoors.

The more they say operator to me, the more I think fork lift operator.  I’ll never know why folks feel the need to claim to be something they aren’t, but they seem to be quit persistent.

Paranoid Pete

 This guy’s natural habitat is the gun show, selling books about the CIA and black helicopters.  He maintains that Obama is still plotting with the UN to overthrow the US government, which makes a lot of sense if you have none.

It can be fun to talk to these folks for a while just to see how deep the paranoia goes but be warned, you’d better have a clear schedule because you are going to hear about: Elvis, JFK Assassinations, Big Foot, chemtrails, and of course aliens.

The Connoisseur

 This is the guy we are all a little jealous of.  He has only the finest of tactical accouterments.  He won’t even consider owning a tactical rifle unless it’s priced north of $1000, preferably $2000.

The scopes on these rifles will probably cost just as much as the rifle itself, because he heard that’s how it’s supposed to be,  on the internet.   It isn’t really about owning firearms for this guy, it’s more about having things that others can’t.

You will also find that he owns several 1911’s valued at $3000 or more.  Has he shot them? No, God no!  This guy has a baller collection and almost no shooting skills what so ever.  It’s ok, if he ever get’s into trouble he can probably lock himself in his gun vault and survive on cuban cigars and fine brandy.

Final Thoughts

We’ve probably all got a little bit of each of these dudes in us, but the important thing is to recognize them before we to start telling people we are Navy SEALs, and prepping for the zombie apocalypse that’ll be brought on by the chemtrails and hey, let me tell you about  9/11…

 

3 COMMENTS

  1. You forgot one: the amateur gunsmiths. Those of us who modify the living crap out of our boomthings.

    I’m…hmmm…let’s be honest, probably the worst poster child for this…ever. I once tried to figure out what was still stock on what started as a Ruger New Vaquero in 357. Answer, five screws, one spring, most of the base pin latch and the grip frame. It’s been converted to 9mmPara, multi-part barrel like a Dan Wesson, gas trap at the muzzle used to power the automatic shell ejector, magazine feeding (up to 14rd capacity with a six-shot cylinder), post-modern sights…

    http://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/2014/03/03/maurice-frankenruger-magazine-fed-revolver/

    Massad Ayoob says “don’t modify your carry piece”. Maurice here would give him a heart attack. It’s called “Maurice” because “some people call it The Space Cowboy”…

  2. I found both articles to be a bit funny, but mostly ridiculous. We share a similar background as far as the Marines, but that is where it ends. I was a Sergeant (and Platoon Sergeant) in a grunt weapons platoon, and that was 40 years ago. Military experience and ROE have nothing to do with the civilian world. Neither does crossfit or a college degree have a thing to do with firearms training. Since then I’ve attended dozens of classes and shooting schools. I have multiple NRA civilian and LEO instructor certifications. Worked in the gun business, instructed and RSO’d at a range and gunstore. Owned a training company and taught a few thousand students.
    What shooting schools have you attended? What instructors have you trained with. What instructor qualifications do you have? What books about self defense, use of force, criminal and civil court defense have you read? Any classes on those subjects? You make fun of MagPul dvd’s, but have you watched any? What about other related DVD’s? Had any classroom gunsmithing or armorer courses?
    You write a blog which may influence new shooters. Are you really qualified to do so?

    • I commend your lengthy background and it’s always glad to hear from a fellow Marine. If you have any specific questions about my background then I would point you to my bio. The answer to many of you questions is yes I too have taken courses, DOD, police, civilian. Take a look at some of my other articles to see if you agree with some of my thoughts or not. Thanks

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